It came so easy to my mind. A shot on his head and then a long and deep breath... become void. Many times in many ways I made movies on my head about the situation. The bastard sleeping on his bed, me sliding my foots on the floor, becoming the hunter, the perfect revenge for all this years, for all my tears, the blows, the blood on my face, the silent screams, the cheap excuses, the bullshit.

     I don't remember when or how it started, sincerely I don't want to remember. Just have his stinky breath of cheap beer on my nose forcing me. How I hated him during those moments, how filthy, impure, diminished, humiliated, abused I was. So if you think I didn't have any reason you are wrong. I had. Rage is a reason? maybe not for a war. Maybe I'm using the wrong word. You know, I'm not a thinker or a philosopher. Anyway, I don't mind. Between me and him it was my feelings, and none was nice, I swear, none.

     I just needed the will, the opportunity, I don't know. After some time you really start to live and think as a zombie, a slave of his shitty life. Just waiting, waiting for the moment when he opened the door and the nightmare starts. I laugh now when people tells me they had a nightmare last night, cause I lived in one.

     Of course I had also the crazy idea of commit suicide. But after all, it was just a way out for me. No, don't think that I'm a hero or something. I didn't thought about to avoid the same suffering for other women. I don't belong to that kind of humankind. It was just his stupid smile coming to my mind and the desire to erase it what pushed me.

     It wasn't something well planned. I didn't say "this night will be" or " I will do that next week". Sometimes the bag is full enough of shit, just that. Sometimes you have to get out of you the shit. To clean, if you like. I'm not good with words, I never was.

     Because of that I never thought that the rest of the people could understand me. Never waited for a happy end for that. But you know something? In spite of everything, just watching the bars on my prison, the dirty bathrooms and all, I never felt myself more free than now. Never.